More of what you want and Less of what you don’t want.


Success is about enjoying the life you have. You can choose to enjoy what you have now or to do something about it so you have a better life later.

But it takes some effort to create the future you want if your life is less than ideal. You must be willing to persist regardless of other people’s opinions about what you are doing.

I will do today what others will not to live tomorrow like others cannot.

Fundamental Choice

This choice is a big one, it’s a balancing act and not always as easy as it seems. We don’t want to spend our lives preparing for a tomorrow that never comes but if we do a few simple things today, we can make our tomorrow a much better place….

One way to move towards more success is to redefine what success means to you. You may prefer to accept the idea that everything is already as it should be. Then you can choose to enjoy what is as it is and run with it. No deeds to do no promises to keep……

Another way is to start with simple, small actions and thoughts that will give you more of what you want or less of what you don’t want.

Pragmatic definition of success

Some say that ultimately success is about only this, having more of the life you want by having more of what you want and less of what you don’t want. If you are not happy with how things are it’s certainly easier to start to define what you mean by your success step by step. As things improve the big picture that really resonates with you will emerge.


In order to choose either one or a mixture of these two ways, we need a model of the world  that allows for this.

Simple things

Focus your efforts with a relentless consistency and pick some simple changes to play with, such as:

  • Walk every day for a month gives you more fitness and less fat.
  • Eat one meal less every other day gives you less fat.
  • Stop buying a coffee every day gives you more money each week.
  • Remembering five blessings every night before you sleep gives you more peace and contentment.
  • Meditating for 20 minutes twice a day reduces stress.
  • Calling your family every week gives you a feeling of belonging.

You can probably think of many more simple changes like these. Knowing that each action will change your tomorrow in some way encourages us to play. Focusing on change that means something to us personally gives us more discipline to do what we need to do. Especially if it’s outside our comfort zone.

Tiny changes can make a massive difference according to Tony Robbins and many others. Most of us know this to be true.

To learn more about Tony’s philosophy click here.

The last thing we want to do is build a list of extra things to be, have or do when we are already busy unless you are absolutely sure the things on our list are worth investing in.

For many of our delegates the big issue with all of this was knowing what they really wanted.

Some were certain and couldn’t believe how others could operate day to day without knowing a destination or outcome. Others had lists but these were lists they weren’t sure of or didn’t still agree with and the final group said they had no idea.

Why would you do anything if you didn’t want what it gave you?

Your judgement about whether to do something or how much energy to give it depends on what your return is likely to be.

Without knowing what you want to be different, you could spend a lot of time doing a lot of things that take you nowhere you want to go.

“If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there.”   Lewis Carroll

The delegates who knew what they wanted always took some time for themselves to sit somewhere quiet and journal to get clear on this.

One way to do this is to create two columns on a piece of paper. On one column, write, ‘I want more of’ and on the other, ‘I want less of’.

Think about your life and how it is now and what changes you would love to see. Write these down in terms of more of this, less of that.

Investing 30 minutes in this exercise will pay you back many times. Doing this will give you a better idea of when and where it’s worth putting in effort.

The Monkey Challenge provides a range of tools and techniques to work out what you want as part of the 12-week relationship plan.The exercises provide guided sessions to allow you to understand what you really want (and don’y want) and they include in teh early stages this more of and less of technique.